Saturday, 12 March 2011

Don't Mess With Berty Bailiff

Yes, it's that time of year again when seasoned anglers don protective gloves and slope off to trim a few hedges whilst the newbies do the hard work. A time when any fella with a chainsaw will cut a tree down whether it's rotten or not.
 On my syndicate water it's just us bailiffs that do the work. Fences were built, swims were manicured. I decided to jump in the boat for a bit of light pruning whilst a small amount of chainsaw carnage ensued.

Of course work does get done, but it's always a good social and the Tea and Bacon rolls taste so much better having achieved something.

On the subject of bailiffs.........
A well known angler walked into the shop the other day and recounted the following..
"I was fishing from a point and was in two minds as to which side to fish from so set up for two rods on either side, I was only allowed to fish three rods so had one alarm free in case I should change my mind.(Honest guv, I wasn't just about to set up another rod).
 At about this time Berty bailiff arrives, "You can't use four rods" he spouts."I'm not", was the reply "but you've got four alarms there pal".."Is that against the rules then?"
The bailiff pondered for a while"No, that's not against the rules, but if I come down here at 2:00 tomorrow morning, are you telling me that there will not be a rod sat on that alarm?" ..The reply came swiftly"If you come strolling around a lake at 2am you should be careful pal, cos I've heard that some night anglers carry baseball bats or knives for protection!!"....The bailiff checked his ticket and departed.
About half an hour later the rozzers turned up stating that they'd had a report of a water bailiff being threatened with a knife.
The fellow rummaged around into his tackle box and pulled out a small penknife with a 2" blade, which apparently had a snapped end where he'd used it as a screwdriver.
"You'd better take this lethal weapon from me officers, I might do some harm"...One of the policemen looked at the weapon and said, "Hmmm I feel this may have been blown out of proportion mate" and after a thorough search for other weaponry departed.
The angler told me he felt quite smug about getting one up on an overzealous bailiff.............that is, until a letter arrived on his doormat a week later stating that he'd been banned from the club for a year for "threatening a bailiff".


  1. Oh dear that sounds a bit rough!

    I am always nice and polite to the bailiffs as they have the ability to take your ticket off of you even in they have just charged into your swim and scared the fish of that are right by your feet. They than proceed to talk rubbish to you before departing asking "do you always use a fly fishing reel on a river mate"!

    They can be scary people!

  2. What sort of Bailiff was he, Cant he take a joke, And if he was to go there at 2:00 in the morning i would think god he's keen, I am a bailiff myself on our club waters, If the fishermen have the club year badge "Supplied with membership book" in the car window, Then i very rarly bother them, I know what its like to have someone come and stand in your peg and scare the fish away, But then i know most of the 1500 members NOT haha, The work parties are just that normally "Parties for fishermen" Cant beat them for a good laugh, And you are right Gurn it is surprising how much work gets done,
    Great blogging as useual,